Archive for November, 2012

Post #79 – The HATE list…

Posted in Family, humor, parenting, relationships, true stories, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 29, 2012 by tenaciousbitch

So, again, apologies for my absence. The day jobs are totally kicking my ass these days. That and I was rather busy last week like most everyone with Thanksgiving and our annual OSU-MI football BASH. Congrats to the BUCKS for their WIN against the Wolverines and for an undefeated season!

Anywho, my last post dealt with what I LOVE, and I realized I’d forgotten a few of my favorite things:

1) Girl’s Night Out (need I say more?)…

2) Going to a movie ALONE that my husband doesn’t want to see like Eat, Pray, Love.

3) Going to a writer’s conference or seminar, preferably in L.A…..whereupon, I can do that beach thing mentioned in my previous post.

4) Asking my son, Max, who is 20, btw, to run an errand for me or unload the dishwasher, and he does so without WHINING or blustering and/or any reminders! 🙂

Okay, so that’s the WHAT makes me happy list…now for the what makes me want to drive steel SPIKES into the foreheads of the offenders committing the crimes listed below:

1)  When someone attempts to conduct a conversation with me while I’m in the loo. Whether I’m brushing my teeth and have the water running and can’t hear you 2 rooms away, or I’m “busy” polluting the sewer, whatever you have to say can wait until I’m finished UNLESS:

*     Your hair’s on fire.

*    There’s a mean-looking cop at the door, or

*    The conversation consists of something like-

Max:  I’m leaving.

Moi:   Okay, drive carefully.

Max:   K.

Otherwise, PLEASE hold THAT thought until I’m DONE.

2)   People who cut me off in traffic, then, FLIP ME the bird when I almost hit them. I’m sorry, but what do you expect when your tiny Toyota tries to slip in front of my Escalade?

3)  People who make fun of the TV shows I watch (like – Supernatural, The Good Wife or Dallas). No ONE is making you sit there while I watch John Ross lie to his girlfriend AGAIN…so, if you don’t like what’s on the big screen, get THE FUCK OUT… 🙂

4)  People who roll their eyes when I say that I don’t eat white bread or anything with corn syrup in it and that I prefer organic food. Okay, maybe you don’t care that you’re 50-100 pounds overweight, but I lost 60 pounds as of 2004. And I’d REALLY like to lose the 15 pounds now parked on my ass and thighs AGAIN after Nana moved in with us (mostly from , ahem, over-serving my Merlot in order to tolerate Nana’s nonsense).

And for a glimpse regarding the joy of living with my 95-year-old grandmother’s aforementioned NONSENSE, take a gander at:  ……. or …..

Plus, as far as eating healthy, after watching both my parents die a miserable death from cancer, I prefer to die in my sleep, thank you. And being overweight has been linked to certain cancers, not to mention high blood pressure, etc. That said,  my overall cholesterol was only 158 during my last physical three months ago, so I must be doing SOMETHING right.

5) When Nana CRANKS up the heat in her room to 90 and then complains that it’s HOT in there as if it were the fault of the FURNACE FAIRY.

6)  People who chew with their mouth open.

7)  Bigots who immediately don’t like someone simply by virtue of their race, religion or sexual orientation.

8)  People who let their children run wild in public, and/or pay no attention to what their kids are doing. For example, last week, while standing in line waiting to pay for my groceries, I had to alert the woman in front of me (who was gabbing on her phone) that her 14-month old was sucking on a cigarette lighter he’d snatched from her purse!  Luckily, she didn’t yell at me but immediately seized the plastic fire starter, which prompted an awesome display of screaming on both their parts. Yes, I do so love America.

9) People who won’t apologize when they’re CLEARLY at fault. For example, when Max got angry at ME last summer when I kicked him out for smoking weed on our back porch. Hmm... It’s just as bad for your health as smoking cigarettes. Secondly, I’d already threatened to toss you out on your ASS if I caught you AGAIN. Plus, God and 27 neighbors had a front row seat to your blunt-toking party because you were illuminated by a LARGE streetlight, DUMB ASS…but, obviously, we patched things up because he’s still living across the hall… 🙂

10) Women who won’t LET their husbands do anything besides work, lawn maintenance and a hundred other dreary chores and/or spending time with THEM  and their children. Sorry, ladies, but we all need our NIGHT’S OUT, and just because he’s OUT, doesn’t mean he’s cheating.

11) People who criticize my parenting both now and in the past. Ahem, last I checked you’ve never lived with my boys, and 2) most often when people make blanket statements about what I should or shouldn’t do/have done, either they don’t have kids, or they barely know my boys…so SHUT the FUCK up…

12)  People who complain about their jobs/spouses/neighborhood, etc., but do NOTHING to change their circumstances.

13)  Last but not least: I hate pedophiles, rapists, philandering men, and people who abuse their spouses/children – either mentally or physically. But, then, again, who doesn’t? So, I guess that one is kind of lame… 🙂

And there you have it. So, I assume it’s confirmed now. I am that annoying – half-glass FULL kind of bitch since there are 17 in the WHAT I LOVE category (including the 13 items mentioned in Post #78) and only 13 in the WHAT I HATE list…

Hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving, and, hopefully, I’ll be able to pen another post before CHRISTMAS!

Over and out from the bitch’s bat cave…

~TenaciousBITCH and her truth-spouting posse…or something like that…